I never realized the things that I’m missing while being here until last Wednesday. One of the departments in this Institution surprisingly posted a prefinal exam for us this Saturday scheduled 10am to 12nn. Yes, today. I was really pissed that I couldn’t come to my cousin’s wedding and knowing that my whole clan will be there. Also, as much as I want to come and catch up on the reception I’m thinking it will be difficult for me since I only have 3 hours sleep last night and travelling back home will not be comfortable for me since I have to ride FX, then MRT, and then a Bus. This coming Monday I will also have a short exam and one practical exam. I think it’s much better if I’ll stay. I don’t have any choice.
To be honest, I was thinking that there’s a thin chance for me to transfer school or maybe take a leave of absence and travel. I’m tired. Physically, mentally and emotionally… feels like med school is a black hole sucking every ounce of my strength. I don’t want to quit though and completely stop. I still want to pursue this career. It’s just I’m really out of focus and I’ve been too comfortable in this place. Making me feel that being a happy go lucky is just ok. Well it’s not! And I’ll miss my friends badly if I’ll go.
Maybe the lesser problem is in my school. I know I’m not in the position to bad mouth but I’m telling you, some or most institution and its administration have some issues and rumors. Some may favor some. Some may leak some and some have dirty works and give special treatments. The thing that I hated most is when an institution is just after its popularity and maintaining its status and neglecting its promise of equal treatment and both parties must benefit. I hated the fact that they will accept more and more students and if they feel you’re for discard, they will just drop you out of nowhere. Or make ways that you will more and more suffer.
I’m not saying that it’s completely their fault. I have my personal issues too. It was a 75%-25% thing. My part is the former. I'm neglecting my own responsibility. Or maybe was thinking of many things. I’m still planning to finish this semester. I don’t know what’s next then. Med school is not for the faint hearted. I proved that many times. And it’s true that once you decided to go forward to it. You should never have second thoughts. Why? Cause it’s much tougher to leave and move on. Like what i always ask you... will all these sacrifices have it's worth?
Seems like my family thinks i'm still doing okay though. hay...
So I’m sorry for the picture. I guess I won’t be able to post any. I have a nude though. Hehe! or maybe you want to see pictures of my eyebags. Hehe! But mostly I’m sorry for my inaanak. Once again I have to cancel my visit to her. Hay! Pesteng Med school walang SOCIAL LIFE! Anybody wants a trade of life even for a day? Wonder how it feels?