Saturday, September 6, 2008

Should I Stay or Should I Go...

I never realized the things that I’m missing while being here until last Wednesday. One of the departments in this Institution surprisingly posted a prefinal exam for us this Saturday scheduled 10am to 12nn. Yes, today. I was really pissed that I couldn’t come to my cousin’s wedding and knowing that my whole clan will be there. Also, as much as I want to come and catch up on the reception I’m thinking it will be difficult for me since I only have 3 hours sleep last night and travelling back home will not be comfortable for me since I have to ride FX, then MRT, and then a Bus. This coming Monday I will also have a short exam and one practical exam. I think it’s much better if I’ll stay. I don’t have any choice.

To be honest, I was thinking that there’s a thin chance for me to transfer school or maybe take a leave of absence and travel. I’m tired. Physically, mentally and emotionally… feels like med school is a black hole sucking every ounce of my strength. I don’t want to quit though and completely stop. I still want to pursue this career. It’s just I’m really out of focus and I’ve been too comfortable in this place. Making me feel that being a happy go lucky is just ok. Well it’s not! And I’ll miss my friends badly if I’ll go.

Maybe the lesser problem is in my school. I know I’m not in the position to bad mouth but I’m telling you, some or most institution and its administration have some issues and rumors. Some may favor some. Some may leak some and some have dirty works and give special treatments. The thing that I hated most is when an institution is just after its popularity and maintaining its status and neglecting its promise of equal treatment and both parties must benefit. I hated the fact that they will accept more and more students and if they feel you’re for discard, they will just drop you out of nowhere. Or make ways that you will more and more suffer.

I’m not saying that it’s completely their fault. I have my personal issues too. It was a 75%-25% thing. My part is the former. I'm neglecting my own responsibility. Or maybe was thinking of many things. I’m still planning to finish this semester. I don’t know what’s next then. Med school is not for the faint hearted. I proved that many times. And it’s true that once you decided to go forward to it. You should never have second thoughts. Why? Cause it’s much tougher to leave and move on. Like what i always ask you... will all these sacrifices have it's worth?
Seems like my family thinks i'm still doing okay though. hay...

So I’m sorry for the picture. I guess I won’t be able to post any. I have a nude though. Hehe! or maybe you want to see pictures of my eyebags. Hehe! But mostly I’m sorry for my inaanak. Once again I have to cancel my visit to her. Hay! Pesteng Med school walang SOCIAL LIFE! Anybody wants a trade of life even for a day? Wonder how it feels?

16 comments:

ice said...

ganun talaga buhay...

sobrang magulo...

hayyyyy

btw kamukha mo frnd ko si lee roy

http://profiles.friendster.com/17764891

† Yods† said...

ouch naman, emo mo doc ced.

sad naman, di ka nakapunta sa family gathering niyo. wala ka tuloy piktyur na nakabarong. takteng yan. sayang yun. at yung food na pinapabalot ko sa yo wala tuloy.

ang sad ng post mo. litong lito ka na no?

kaya mo yan doc, isa lang yan sa mga pagsubok na kelangan mo lampasan sa med school. ok lang na magpahinga basta wag lang quit.

mahirap nga minsan ibalance ang social life sa school/work. pero ang lahat naman nasa tamang timing e. may kanya kanyang oras.

ano pa ba? ala na ko masabi e. tara na nga lang, inom na lang natin yang problema mo. tutal umpisa na ng oktobefest e. ehehe

vous ne pouvez pas servir deux maîtres en même temps. juste le sourire, tout sera parfait.

bonne chance ced! souriez! :)

dak said...

focus ced!

relatively, bad admin is inevitable... there's always a black dot in a clean white paper. and you cannot do anything about it unless you forget or ignore it's just a tiny dot, and the rest is still clean.

look at things in a positive way.

Rio said...

doc, may gusto daw ditong makipag trade...yung batang yagit na walang ginawa kundi maglaro...hehe

sayang at hindi ka naka attend ng wedding..inantay ko din yung picture mo e...

seriously, wag kang mag gi-give up...may patutunguhan naman lahat yang paghihirap mo e..kala mo lang wala..wla..pero meron meron meron..hehe

ingat palagi doc ced=)

my-so-called-Quest said...

@ice - hawig ko ba? hehehe

@yods - ganyan tlaga. emo na cute pa! heheh

malungkot pero may choice ba? hehe

my-so-called-Quest said...

@dak - i am trying to do so.
pero sana maliwanagan lng talaga ko kung anu magiging plan ko.



@doc rio - salamat po=]
babawi ako sa pic. nude ayaw mo? hehe

PoPoY said...

so ito pala talaga ang gumugulo sa buhay mo ngayon??

hmmm.

pagnagQUIT ka, isasampal ko sa mukha mo ang pagiging LOSER mo at QUITTER. ndi ako med student nor med graduate pero ang pinasok mong larangan ay ndi mo pedeng bitawan. yan yung tipong bawal ka magkamali. may issue ka man o may issue man ang school mo, walang pakialam. galingan mo ang pagaaral, try and try your bestest best(huwaw). kung natry mo na at sa tingin mo nabigay mo na lahat then ndi mo na kasalanan yun.

"wala pang taong nakakahawak sa isang bituin, pero kapag inisip mo na kaya mo at magagawan mo ng paraan sa abot ng iyong makakaya, sisiw ang lahat ng iyan, hindi lang bituin ang mahahawakan mo, pati boobs ni madame auring ipapahawak ko sau..."

P.S.

Sinasabi ko to sau dahil kaibigan kita. at naniniwala ako sa kakayahan mo. okey lang kung mabasa mo to, at sabihin mong wala kang pakialam, ang importante may nagsasabi sau. kesa sa wala.

Coldman said...

ganun talaga ang buhay estudyante, konting tiis lang. (ganyan din ako dati)

wanna trade?

yoko nga, tapos na ako dyan! Lol!

curbside_puppet said...

pahinga lang katapat niyan.

KRIS JASPER VAN DYKE said...

Hi doc. Im an incubus of viruses today (well, since Friday, but today's worse) ANw, re: your rants.

WHat can I say...

hmmm....

Valium, you want? can send you some.

yeye said...

waw. kainis naman un. anung dept un tara isama na din natin sa pharma dept at sunugin na natin hahahaha

ang saklap ng buhay sa nrmf hehehe

kaya mo yan. konting tiis na lang...

Lawstude said...

if you wanna see nice views while strolling on a white sand with gentle winds sweeping at your face while the calming light waves play at your feet, cge, trade tayo pero one day lang ha.

my-so-called-Quest said...

@popoy - tenchu popoy!
hug! ahihihi.
seryoso, salamat parekoy!




@kuya coldman - haha, madaya ka kuya. ge na one day lang? heheh

my-so-called-Quest said...

@curb - pahinga sana. sana sembreak na. hehe


@kuya kris - ge ge. padalhan mo ko ah! pwede ba padagdag ng mga pinaglumaan mong damit? hehehe. juk lng=]

my-so-called-Quest said...

@yeye - isa lng un! hahaha. tara sunugin na. firestarter tayo dba? hahaha



@kuya lawstude - awwww. ge kuya. one day lng ah. hehehe.

ingats ka palagi=]

beero said...

hang on ced! don't give up. lagi mong isipin na "a quitter never wins". hehe. at ayaw mo naman sigurong makantyawan ng isang mahabang - LOSER!. ahehe.

ang dami talagang challenges na dumadating pag nag-aaral ka. and it can either make you stronger or pull you down. it's up to you to make a choice.