Thursday, October 7, 2010

Knife... Part Une

This is your typical love story, a guy met a girl, guy courts the girl, and girl likes the guy. But between these two souls, their story is not so conventional.

Patrick met Eloise in a café, on her way on the line for her afternoon coffee fix; in her mind she can almost smell the scent of roasted coffee bean which always lightens her spirits. Patrick bumped into Eloise’s because he’s in a hurry to take his late lunch after he scrubbed in a major operation.

“Sorry!” Eloise said in a sarcastic tone.

“Oh, I’m so sorry too! I thought you need to be awaken cause you looked like you’re in a mild trance.” Patrick said. Then he smirked.

“How rude! Thank God not all guys are like you, I bet you’re still single!” Eloise replied.

Patrick wondered how she knew he’s still single. Then he looked at his ring finger. Then he said… “Sorry”

There were few people in that café that afternoon. 3 students seem to be cramming probably for their exam the following day. There’s a couple sitting next to each other canoodling at the corner of the café, Patrick noticed how the girl giggles while the guy whispers something on her ear. He also observes a group of old men chatting about the news earlier that day. Patrick always does this, maybe as a physician he’s trained in observing people, their mannerisms, he sometimes guesses the age and thinking if these people has a medical complain. Then lastly he noticed the lady in a green dress, the lady he bumped into a little earlier, the lady that he failed to notice of how pretty she is.

“Bummer…” Patrick whispered to himself.

He watched her how she sips her coffee. How she stares outside the window, faint sunlight hitting her pretty face. He noticed how the lady smiled when the kids passed by outside the café.

For awhile Patrick lost track of time. He needs to go back to the hospital. He takes his coffee with him, and hurriedly went out of the café. For the last time he looked at the lady. Then he smiled.

...................

“Patient Number 73” the lady in the intercom said.

The patient with the number went to the front desk, and she was directed to proceed to the 2nd door on her right. Written on the wall beside that door was.

Patrick G. Cruz MD, FPCS

The patient gently knocked on the door. And as she got inside, she almost screamed… “YOU!?!”


.....................

X's - trying my take on a fictional story. hope i can finish this. hehe :P

27 comments:

Will said...

Go, go, go, lol.

Bakit Knife yung title? Horror ba 'to? lol

f. jordan said...

Finish it soon and send it somewhere. Who knows it might see print one of these days.

my-so-called-Quest said...

@will - haha, di naman,. catchy dba? :P

@f.jordan -wow, i think i've been to your blog before. am really honored sir with that comment. :)

sunnystarfish said...

hmmmm...bitin hehe

hobby ko din yun gawain ni Doc Patrick, magobserve ng tao

shenanigans said...

bitin but exciting though...

orally said...

knife as in she's gonna have a lipo? noselift?

seriously, magaling! may future ka doc. ipagpatuloy to.

ardee sean said...

weeehhh... :P

gillboard said...

para sa aming di nakakaintindi ng medical terms, ano ang ibig sabihin ng FCPS?

Soltero said...

aba aba...parang teleserye lang ah! bwahhahahah :P


Doc Ced! magiging romance novelist? LOL

my-so-called-Quest said...

@sunnystarfish - bitin talaga yan. hehe

masarap yung hobby na yun. :P

@shenanigans - mahilig tlaga mambitin e. :)

my-so-called-Quest said...

@orally - you'll know soon why knife. hehe. salamat po.



@ardee - WB! musta na?

my-so-called-Quest said...

@GB - my wrong FPCS yun. Fellow, Philippine College of Surgeons yun. haha

@soltero - ahahha. hindi ata bagay. lol! :P

Raft3r said...

Cant wait for part two!

Lasher said...

Go, go, go! So far parang exciting ang istorya. Keep it up! Finish it! Hehe.

Nimmy said...

ang galing ni ced oh. eeeeee. ikaw na magaling. ipagpatuloy! wooot woot!

Cio said...

Ced,

Nice sub-plot there.

Cio

.pOot! said...

bro that's cool. uhm, i don't really love love stories, pero okies na rin :))) uhm, why knife? 'cos the girl will go under some surgery or operation or anything?

tapusin na, haha.

my-so-called-Quest said...

@everyone - salamat sa pagdaan at sa pagbasa. haha. actually di ko pa sya nasusundan. :( it's all in my head but i can't put them into words yet. hehe. thanks ulit.

wanderingcommuter said...

kayang kaya yan!!! GO! its a working progress. you may want to ask some writer friends to read that and workshop it for you. para alam mo ang strong and weak points mo... it really helps!

ʎonqʎʇıɔ said...

wow! this is something new. nice work!

at tama si ewik! iworkshop mo siya with writers. it'll be a very interesting and rewarding experience.

my-so-called-Quest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
my-so-called-Quest said...

@wanderingcommuter and citibuoy - mga mentors ko! haha. salamat po sa pagappreciate. :D natouch ako. hehehe

uhm, pwede ba sa inyong dalawa ko ipaworkshop? hehehhe

thanks ulit

tere said...

waaaahh!

excited ako sa kasunod...bagong karir?

aymishu! :)

I am Xprosaic said...

Wow! sige ikaw na ang writer...lol... Pero bakit knife?! kasi surgical knife?! wag mo lang paduguin ilong namin sa medical terms ah...
lol...

Sya nga pala... I followed you na... Ingats!

daniel said...

Wow sana happy ending! Umpisa palang kinikilig nako**

ʎonqʎʇıɔ said...

ngek! wala naman akong alam sa ganyan. wala akong formal training or anything. yan si erik, mahusay yan. :)

berg said...

woohoo! bring on part deux :)