Sunday, June 5, 2011

The Eternal Optimist

If I’ll be asked what lesson I won’t forget from any of my professor is that of my Philosophy Teacher, Sir Lucero, I remember he told us that to be of a great man, you should at least accomplish 3 things in life. One is to plant a tree, second is to write a book and lastly to have and raise a child. I’ve only accomplished the first one and that is to plant a tree and if you can equate blogging as writing a book then that makes it two. The last one’s uncertain yet.

But as I grew older and a bit wiser, I learned that there are far better than the 3 things above. Life is a constant change as they say. But in reality people don’t really change, circumstances do. And that’s the important thing I guess. You live and learn. As we go through life, for me there are three important things we at least experienced or learn.

The first thing is… to love. It’s easier said than done but what I meant is to love without asking anything in return. To love without limits, to show that person how important they are and that they are worth fighting for. To be devoted. To have this something so wonderful and sacred, that you’re so afraid someone will take it away. Something that makes you feel like you’re soaring, makes you feel worth all the trouble.

The second thing is… to be loved. To be loved without asking that someone to fall for you in return and not even pleading to them to reciprocate. Simple things that will swept you off your feet, like “how was your day?” or teaching you new things, telling you that how wonderful this life can be. To be loved by someone as whom you are, appreciating you and the small things that you do, telling you how worthy of their time you are, making you feel you're the most important person in the world.

The third and last thing is… to move forward. Now this can be of two directions. One is to move ahead with that someone, taking those small steps of changes which will be good for both of you and second one speaks of moving forward, when things didn’t work as you wished it could be.

Life will always give us choices and options. What we need to do is choose what’s best for us. We may fail and fall but again, life will give you another set of choices and options.

It’s been a year since I came back to blogging. At that moment I told myself I was ready to learn. I was ready to find out what this world has to offer, that I’m willing to learn a thing or two about this world. But what I learned and found out is myself, what I am capable of and what I can offer. I met great and not so great people but life happens and sometimes we drift. I learned to love, be loved and hurt and hopefully move forward, because that’s what life is.

……………………………………………

We may not see each other again but I want to tell you that I don’t regret anything and that I still love you despite everything. I'll keep every memories here in my head and in my heart just in case. When I’ll be in that better place after all of these, I’ll think and be happy of what I became because of you. I’m sorry I can’t keep my promise of staying, but I have to decide for myself as well. It doesn’t mean that I won’t care for you anymore, but I figured it’s the best for both of us. I have to be thankful, that once, our paths had crossed each other, and I hope you learned a lot from me as I am to you. I wish you well.



Press Play



I had a dream… I was walking in a dark tunnel, my right hand was touching the walls of it as a guide. I was waiting and praying to see any sign that I’m almost on the end so I can go out. Until, I heard footsteps that came nearer and nearer. The voice asked me if I was lost too, I said yes. At that moment I was glad that at least I’ll have some company as we look for the tunnel’s end. Bravery and courage quickly replaced doubt and fear. For the first time, the tunnel doesn’t seem too scary at all.

After uncounted hours and several steps made, I heard another voice, echoing inside the tunnel, another footsteps hustling towards us. I heard the first voice said “hey, that voice sounds familiar” and he came running towards that second voice, opposite of our direction. He was running so fast that I have to catch up. I thought I lost track of them until, I heard laughter… joyous laughter. I can still hear them running towards the opposite direction. Right then, I decided to stop running. It made me realize, I was chasing them but no one’s chasing after me. I stopped running, lowered my head, placed both of my hands on my lap and I was panting heavily… I was sweating so much that I didn’t even notice that I was crying. I decided I have to find the tunnel’s end, took a deep breath and started walking towards the original direction we’re supposed to be going.

I woke up, the sunlight hitting my face. I checked my phone, took a deep breath; it was 5:49 in the morning. It’s only been 3 hours since I dozed off. I stood up, went straight to the restroom and stared for the longest time in the bathroom mirror.




I'm feeling kind of fragile and I've got a lot to handle but I guess this is my way of saying goodbye ♪♫

48 comments:

Guyrony said...

How well-written Ced.

Goodbye is a time of fragility. Learn from it for it will be key to a future with perhaps less, if ever, or compromised mistakes.

Jag said...

You stood up, went straight to the restroom and stared for the longest time in the bathroom mirror and said " kailangan ko pang mag gym ng mag gym para ako na ang hahabulin nyo" Naks! haha! Pinapatawa lang kita doc...hehehe...

Tama ka to move forward. Maybe in time you'll find someone who'll help you become the best person you can be...

Hi doc! :)

sugar said...

hug
dami daming hug.
:)

gillboard said...

Why do I feel that you broke someone's heart?

-gillboard

thechaptertwo said...

i agree with you that we should still be thankful that one time in our life, we met someone on our path who made us feel special.

take a small step, enjoy "moving on", it would hurt a bit but it will make us realize that we learned how to love and to be loved.

*hugs*

Kuya Kyle said...

a goodbye from you... again?

my-so-called-Quest said...

@guyrony - thanks G. i have to be honest that i have this light feeling when we converse here. like good buddies. what i learned from all of this is to concentrate on what's happening and what's important now. then i believe little by little i'll progress.

@jag - thanks for taking this post on a lighter side.

@sugar - i badly need one. hug. miss you too.

@GB - if i'll chose between the two. i'd prefer none. but that's life and there are times you'll be either one of them.

@ChapterII - small steps. got it. thanks for dropping by and commenting

@kyle - yes.

@orally - i didn't post your comment as you wish. but i guess you already know the answer. thank you.

KikomaxXx said...

saynag naman... parati ka atang namamaalam docky...

orally said...

thank you Doc. wish you well.

my-so-called-Quest said...

@kiko - salamat.


@orally - thanks din. ingat palagi

shenanigans said...

its been a while doc ced..

at hindi mo ko pinapansin sa twitter ampf!

my-so-called-Quest said...

@shenanigans - sorry. i was about to delete that account anyway. hope your doing great. ingat.

Luis said...

it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.. hindi naman mahalaga kung ilang beses madapa pag nagmahal.. ang importante ang pagbangon sa bawat pagkadapa at hwag magsawang magmahal..

ang ganda ng pagkakasulat doc ced.. nanunuot sa kalamnan.. humahaplos hanggang sa kaibuturan.. :)

my-so-called-Quest said...

@luis - thanks, i was actually waiting for you to comment. salamat ulit ng madami sa pagtatyaga sa blog ko. ingat ka palagi ah.

Luis said...

sabi naman sa yo doc ced.. fan mo ko ngayon at pasyente sa darating na panahon.. kahapon pa ko nag comment.. hindi pala na post.. absent si db?? hehehehe

ingat ka rin lagi doc.. :)

my-so-called-Quest said...

@luis - my plans are uncertain as of now. bahala na kung saan magpapractice.

i think may bagong post si db. i'll tell him you miss him. salamat ulit

Guyrony said...

Isn't it interesting that we're anonymous to each other yet strikingly familiar at the same time?

You are most welcome and the feeling is mutual.

my-so-called-Quest said...

@G - maybe we're sibs in our past life, just as long as you're the older one. just kidding!

oh, and thanks btw with the songs you suggested.

i'll try my best to read your post even when i'm not active in my blog anymore.

xion said...

Try doing things slowly.
It takes time, always. Don't rush and try to be easy on yourself.

ahmer said...

you have to toughen up to survive in this world. there's a time for everything, so for now you just move forward ... just like you said 'little by little : )

my-so-called-Quest said...

@xion - it will take time for sure. how i wish i could fast forward everything. thanks for dropping by and commenting.


@ahmer - yeah, i'll take midget steps. a slow but sure steps. hey salamat ha. to you and your boss. was kinda warming up meeting you and your boss. maybe next time.

shenanigans said...

bakit naman? parang ilang ka sakin?

may nagawa ba ko? sorry... :c

my-so-called-Quest said...

@shenanigans - nope, wala russ.

Raft3r said...

philosophy rocks

alam mo bang philo major ako?
hehe

napadaan uli
akala di kana active mag-blog, eh
buti may bago na pala!

my-so-called-Quest said...

@raft3r - philo's one of my choices in college then along with psych. astig! this is just temporary sir.

citybuoy said...

you're back na rin!:)

this reminded me of the opening scene ng moulin rouge.. despite everything, tumayo siya at lumapit sa makinilya para mag-sulat.

in the background, may bohemiang kumakanta.. the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

my-so-called-Quest said...

@citybuoy - i love that film, been inspired to write because of that. welcome back too!

Midnight Orgasm said...

How can you weave these words? The emotion is there. All i can be is be awed.

my-so-called-Quest said...

@midnight orgasm - thank you. i can say experiences are the best lesson learned.

Marlo said...

Whatever your plan is, may you find the peace that you deserve. :)

Med life has already been stressful. Please, don't be too hard on yourself.

My prayers are with you tonight, dok ced. :)

my-so-called-Quest said...

@marlo - thank you and welcome back! tagal mo nawala ah.

Raft3r said...

you should blog more often
it's a great stress reliever
hehe

happy weekend!

yeah, philo rocks
hind ko nga lang magamit sa trabaho ngayon hehe

my-so-called-Quest said...

@rafter - i still do write on my own journal. what's your field of work ba?

prinsesamusang said...

just keep on moving forward. basta one foot in front of the other lang lagi, for sure everything will go well di ba? :)

my-so-called-Quest said...

@prinsesamusang - i will watch my step from now on. and of course, all will go well. :)

stevevhan said...

sabi nga sa kantang firework ni Katy Perry "Maybe the reason why all the doors are closed so you can open one that'll lead you to the perfect road"

Ang mhalaga looking forward ka, hindi ka bitter at you always willing to learn!

Keep that up doctor! :)

God bless!

mots said...

tagal kong di nakabalik dito...

at hindi ako nagsisising bumalik. napakaganda ng nabasa ko (at narinig) :)

my-so-called-Quest said...

@steve - there's no reason to be bitter.
salamat. :)


@sirmots - salamat sir. :)

marxlin said...

That just spoke to me.

At some point, we all drift. Apart from the knowledge of hurt and pain that tags along, letting go is just that, letting go. We just sometimes have to shape up and pull everything through to get on and get living. Life throws a heck bunches of balls - curve balls, basketballs, even meat balls :p - but isn't it fun and adrenaline-ish to learn how to catch up? After all, life is a wet wild training ground. ;)

Cheer up buddy.

daniel the jagged little egg said...

Awwww : (

Hi Doc!

my-so-called-Quest said...

@marxlin - sorry late rep! i love what you said here regarding catching up. :) thanks you.

@daniel - hugs. :)

Mark Montinola said...

I found your blog somewhere... read through and liked what I read. Thank you for posting. I loved the story about your dream.

my-so-called-Quest said...

@mark - thank you! it's been awhile since i written something. glad you liked it. :) will visit your blog asap. :)

thechaptertwo said...

hey buddy, why stopped writing?

come back for me please? :)

my-so-called-Quest said...

@thechapter2 - hey, been writing a lot. but i don't think it's worth posting here. :)

thanks for dropping by. : )

pointlessparanoia said...

How are you now, Ced?

chino said...

reminds me of the Movie Moulin rouge!

my-so-called-Quest said...

@pointless paranoia - i'm doing well sir. thanks for asking. i hope you're okay as well.

@chino - i love that film. :) but all of us experienced/experiencing this great thing. dba? :D