If I’ll be asked what lesson I won’t forget from any of my professor is that of my Philosophy Teacher, Sir Lucero, I remember he told us that to be of a great man, you should at least accomplish 3 things in life. One is to plant a tree, second is to write a book and lastly to have and raise a child. I’ve only accomplished the first one and that is to plant a tree and if you can equate blogging as writing a book then that makes it two. The last one’s uncertain yet.
But as I grew older and a bit wiser, I learned that there are far better than the 3 things above. Life is a constant change as they say. But in reality people don’t really change, circumstances do. And that’s the important thing I guess. You live and learn. As we go through life, for me there are three important things we at least experienced or learn.
The first thing is… to love. It’s easier said than done but what I meant is to love without asking anything in return. To love without limits, to show that person how important they are and that they are worth fighting for. To be devoted. To have this something so wonderful and sacred, that you’re so afraid someone will take it away. Something that makes you feel like you’re soaring, makes you feel worth all the trouble.
The second thing is… to be loved. To be loved without asking that someone to fall for you in return and not even pleading to them to reciprocate. Simple things that will swept you off your feet, like “how was your day?” or teaching you new things, telling you that how wonderful this life can be. To be loved by someone as whom you are, appreciating you and the small things that you do, telling you how worthy of their time you are, making you feel you're the most important person in the world.
The third and last thing is… to move forward. Now this can be of two directions. One is to move ahead with that someone, taking those small steps of changes which will be good for both of you and second one speaks of moving forward, when things didn’t work as you wished it could be.
Life will always give us choices and options. What we need to do is choose what’s best for us. We may fail and fall but again, life will give you another set of choices and options.
It’s been a year since I came back to blogging. At that moment I told myself I was ready to learn. I was ready to find out what this world has to offer, that I’m willing to learn a thing or two about this world. But what I learned and found out is myself, what I am capable of and what I can offer. I met great and not so great people but life happens and sometimes we drift. I learned to love, be loved and hurt and hopefully move forward, because that’s what life is.
We may not see each other again but I want to tell you that I don’t regret anything and that I still love you despite everything. I'll keep every memories here in my head and in my heart just in case. When I’ll be in that better place after all of these, I’ll think and be happy of what I became because of you. I’m sorry I can’t keep my promise of staying, but I have to decide for myself as well. It doesn’t mean that I won’t care for you anymore, but I figured it’s the best for both of us. I have to be thankful, that once, our paths had crossed each other, and I hope you learned a lot from me as I am to you. I wish you well.
I had a dream… I was walking in a dark tunnel, my right hand was touching the walls of it as a guide. I was waiting and praying to see any sign that I’m almost on the end so I can go out. Until, I heard footsteps that came nearer and nearer. The voice asked me if I was lost too, I said yes. At that moment I was glad that at least I’ll have some company as we look for the tunnel’s end. Bravery and courage quickly replaced doubt and fear. For the first time, the tunnel doesn’t seem too scary at all.
After uncounted hours and several steps made, I heard another voice, echoing inside the tunnel, another footsteps hustling towards us. I heard the first voice said “hey, that voice sounds familiar” and he came running towards that second voice, opposite of our direction. He was running so fast that I have to catch up. I thought I lost track of them until, I heard laughter… joyous laughter. I can still hear them running towards the opposite direction. Right then, I decided to stop running. It made me realize, I was chasing them but no one’s chasing after me. I stopped running, lowered my head, placed both of my hands on my lap and I was panting heavily… I was sweating so much that I didn’t even notice that I was crying. I decided I have to find the tunnel’s end, took a deep breath and started walking towards the original direction we’re supposed to be going.
I woke up, the sunlight hitting my face. I checked my phone, took a deep breath; it was 5:49 in the morning. It’s only been 3 hours since I dozed off. I stood up, went straight to the restroom and stared for the longest time in the bathroom mirror.
I'm feeling kind of fragile and I've got a lot to handle but I guess this is my way of saying goodbye ♪♫