Thursday, December 29, 2011

I Wrote a Story about You


Reflections of your love have come to wither, I thought I'd done my best to memorize

It was quarter past 3 in the morning; I woke up lying in my bed, half naked, curled, and hugging a pillow. I had a dream... it was one of those dreams that you were crying in it and suddenly you woke up, your eyes soaking in tears. And you can feel your pillow damped.

The dream goes by like snapshots, like those in movies, viewed in an LCD. 

The dream started exactly the same day today.  It’s that day I knew that from that day on, everything will change... From what I believed in, what I had been trying to prevent from happening. That day I never thought of the consequences, or of what might happen. Because in my point of view, it was pure bliss and it’s gonna be worth it. Cause I was at my happiest.

It happened mid-afternoon in one of the busiest malls in QC, where everyone’s hustling for post-Christmas and pre-New Year shopping. I was worried I won’t be able to catch your bus. And I wasn’t even able to change my shirt. I knew I was sweating like a pig before meeting you. I was very worried you’ll be disappointed. At the same time I was very excited cause finally, for the first time, we’ll meet.pa
Alas, the time had come. You told me you’re near; I was walking fast-phased in the overpass looking directly at the bus stop on the other side of the street, looking for someone wearing green. I was glad that I got there before you because it gave me time to wipe off some sweat in my forehead. I saw the bus nearing its stop; my heart’s beating fast that I can feel each pulsations in my throat. You stepped down and I recognized you immediately and I was smiling the whole time after seeing you. As you promised you were wearing your favourite shirt, you smiled back. I wanted to hug you that time. I offered to carry your bag but you declined. We talked on our way through the nearest mall and, there were no single awkward moments, no awkward silence. Everything went well. And i was comfortable.
We dined in one of the restaurant outside of that mall. You asked if we can eat something you don’t usually have. To be honest, I was so shy from you, making small glances at your eyes but most of the time on your lips. And your voice...


And then I woke up...




I woke up and wiped my eyes with a bedsheet. I told myself, it was all just a dream...





It was all just a dream...


A picture fades of you and I together, I haven't come to terms with how we said goodbye... Reflections of your love have come to wither... I thought I'd done my best to memorize

9 comments:

POPOY said...

wala akong alam na sabihin :( just going to hug you tight... hoping that you'll be fine soon... Cheer up doc!

bien said...

doki, is this a letting go post? or the-one-who-got-away variety?

Mugen said...

Like most dreams, it will fade the more you gain consciousness.

Cheers!

Guyrony said...

Hay Ced, there are no words to utilize to comfort you in times like these.

A dream, so beautiful, so real, so untainted. The senses all come to life.

Then you wake up and leaves a feeling incomprehensible.

Yet we have to go through that because acceptance really is not that easy.

kalansay said...

hugs dok. :(

kalansay.

Anonymous said...

Happy new year doc ced hehe :-)

my-so-called-Quest said...

@popoy - thanks. i'm okay na naman. :)

@bien - masyado ba malabo? hmmmm...

@mugen - yeah. i like what you said. little by little you'll only recall minute details and then all will be gone into oblivion.

@G - thanks G, since New year's almost here, i must start anew. i've been into depression several times this year and the only acceptance i have to get through is how to help myself : )

@kalansay - hug back. : )

@josh - kuya soltero?

Lalah said...

that was so deep. it comes within.

Nate said...

affected ako.. :'(