For the past few days I’ve been clearing my head of what happened to me. No matter what I do, negative thoughts keep on coming back to my head. Well, if your future is at stake why wouldn’t you? How insensitive and immature of you if you will not. I was thinking of having a vacation in Bicol with my friends or at least go somewhere else. But I’m feeling guilty of asking permission to my parents and I’m afraid, as always, they will not allow me to go.
I gave myself a deadline of what my plan will be. Will I move forward or will I step backward? Will I stay or should I go? If I make a decision, how will it affect me? How will it affect my family? My family’s been very wonderful to me. They told me they will support me no matter what. But still they want me to continue. That makes me feel guiltier.
I haven’t spoken to her either. I don’t know. I tried to contact her every miniscule amount of time I have. But I don’t get replies from her. I want to get mad since I’m going through a lot again, but I can’t. I really can’t. I want her to be part of my decision making. Her opinion really matters to me. But where is she? I hope what I’m thinking is not true. I need her now.
I’m here again at the bottom of the rollercoaster, I was once been here. But this time I wonder if I can move up. I wonder if this ride will move backward. I wonder if I can get out of this ride. I wonder if my time is up.
To my blogger friends, I want to thank you for being here with me. You were here when I needed to talk to someone and been here to listen. It wouldn’t be easier without you. So, thank you all.