The L Word

I was about to write a topic about this. But then, my screen went like that for a half an hour. They say when you write, you have to write what you know. And I’ll admit I’m still amateurish, hence the screen stares back at me, and probably asked me, “now what?”

But then I realize I know love, I felt what real love is. It’s a different kind of love, but this is the kind that I’m familiar with.

There is the kind of love that you get from your family. They’re the ones who know you inside out. Though sometimes you never tell them you love them, tell them most of your secrets, or hide something to them, you know that they’re right behind you. Accepts you, loves you. They’re the ones who are behind our success and our shoulder when you’re defeated. When my parents and my sibs went to US for a vacation (I know its short term), I realize how much I miss them especially when I’ll come home every weekend. I’ll just think that they deserve to enjoy and set aside their worries for awhile.

Another kind of love that I’m aware of is the one with my friends. Recently, one of my friends was accused and slammed with rumors here in school. The worst thing about that was aside that it’s a false accusation, the usage of derogatory words was unnecessary. As a friend I was hurt. Then I asked them, two of my closest friend to stay with me in my home last 2 weekends ago. And I realize that they’re like my sibling already. Whether we have different beliefs, grown from different cultures, different families we always have each other’s support. I may not be vocal about it but I love my friends, the ones that I keep are the ones that have a special place in my heart. Naks!

I tried to be domesticated as much as possible for them and cooked them meals. Hehe

beefsteak and stirred veggies

(i know from this pic mukang pusit ung steak!lol)

Tahong!

My take on Wicked Oreos! :D

unplanned swimming! hehe. Go team Samsung! hehe

Lastly, I may sound vain but we must love ourselves. However, not to the extent like Narcissus did. Hehe. But seriously, as what they say, learn to love yourself then you will learn to love others. There are different ways to do that. Again I’m not an expert. Eherm… hehe. Be optimistic at the same time, lessen your expectations. When people praise you for the good things and good deeds, appreciate them. When you fail, got shouted at, take that as a lesson and a positive thing. Also, take care of yourself, if you know you’re not allowed to drink or smoke, don’t! If you need exercise or rest, take some time. I don’t want to sound preachy but the only person that can help you is yourself.

Love may come in different forms, shapes and gender. But we must appreciate the littlest things. Because there will come a time, we will regret that we ignored or took advantage of them.

...

A great blogger friend asked me a favor to post his sentiments. As I read this, word for word, I bet you he is sincere. When a guy is sincere to someone, he will do anything for that person, and my blog can totally relate to this chap.


May mga bagay sa mundo na sadyang mahiwaga, kakaiba at hindi maipaliwanag. May mga pagkakataon sa buhay ng tao na darating ang isang pangyayari na hindi inaasahan. At may mga pangyayari naman na may taong darating sa ating buhay para ito'y bigyang kahulugan. Nangyari ito, nang makilala kita.

Nagsimula sa pagkakaibigan. Doon naman talaga nagsisimula ang lahat. Simpleng batian at kumustahan, usapan at tawanan. At mula ng makita kita, lagi ko na agad iniisip ang susunod na pagkakataong muli kitang makakasama. Pagkat hindi sapat ang ilang oras na inilalagi natin. Iba ang pakiramdam tuwing kasama kita. Hindi maipaliwanag na ligaya ang nagpapabilis sa oras natin at pangungulila ang siyang nagpapabagal na muli kang makita ng aking paningin.

Hindi nagtagal, ang mga musikang pinapakinggan mo ay pinapakinggan ko na rin. Ang mga awiting kinakanta mo ay inaawit ko na rin. Ang mga pinapanuod mo ay pinapanood ko na rin. Ang mga paborito mo ay naging paborito ko rin. Ang mga tawanan natin. At ang ngiti mo, mga salita ng labi na walang tunog ngunit nagpapahiwatig na sa kabila ng lahat ay masaya ka, ay napapangiti ako. Sapagkat wala nang mas papantay pa sa pakiramdam na napapasaya mo ang taong mahal mo.

Alam kong may pagkakataong hindi ako naging mabait sayo sa kabila ng pagiging mabuti mo sa akin. Hindi ko man naibabalik ang mga pabor na hinihingi ko sa iyo, pinahahalagahan ko ang lahat ng ginagawa mo para sa atin. Hindi ko man naaabot ang mga bagay ng inaasahan mo sa akin, sinisikap kong higitan pa ang lahat ng iyon. Paumanhin sa lahat ng pagkukulang ko at sa mga hindi magandang salitang nabibitawan ko. Walang kwenta man ako, ikaw lang ang naging dahilan kung bakit may kwenta ang buhay ko. Dahil sayo nagbago ang mundo ko.

At hindi ako magbibitaw ng kahit anong pangako. Dahil may mga bagay na mas mabuting ginagawa kaysa sinasabi.

Malaki ang pasasalamat ko dahil nakilala kita. Kahit hindi mo sadyain, hindi maipaliwanag na saya ang ibinibigay mo sa tuwing magkatabi tayo. Ang dagitab na dulot mo na sumusuot sa aking buto. Sa iyong kanlungan nadama ko ang maging kuntento. At hindi matatawaran ang pagkalingang ibinibigay mo. Maraming maraming salamat sa iyo.

Kung may dahilan man ang lahat ng ito. Kung bakit ako naririto. Kung bakit ako masaya. Kung bakit ako maligaya. Kung bakit makulay ang tingin ko sa paligid. Kung bakit bughaw ang langit. Kung bakit kalmado ang tubig. Kung bakit ramdam ko ang halik ng hangin. Kung bakit ang oras ay matulin. At kung bakit patuloy pa ring pumipintig ang puso kong uhaw sa pag-ibig...

Walang ibang dahilan kundi ikaw.

At wala nang ibang maaaring maging dahilan ng lahat ng ito maliban sayo. Kung ako ang tagapagligtas mo, ikaw naman ang reyna ko.


To that someone… I know you’re reading this.

Am I a bully???

When I was in high school I was a typical average student.

You barely even notice me from the crowd.

I’m just your typical silent, carefree to anything type of student.

There was a time I was bullied on my prom practice. (Details not included. hehe)

I almost got into a fight. But the best thing was, I didn’t do anything, I just let them.

Years had passed and tables were turned.

I’m still the shy type and silent, often had the impression of “suplado and masungit”

But if we get along, I’m one of the funniest people you'll know.

But I tend to name names. I admit that, but not on the rude way… I guess.

I still think it’s funny though. I guess I lack sensitivity to those who were a bit sensitive or to those who were into a phase. At least I immediately say sorry to them.

Last week a very close friend got annoyed to me. I know he was, because he tends to do weird things like smoke which he barely does and gets moody.

He was in a phase because of the tons of school work and tons of dreadful attitudes his classmates’ shows (you know how class research work shows everyone’s dark side, lol)

I guess he thought instead of showing some support I even made fun of him.

I said I was sorry and he told me to grow up. (Ouch!)

But at least it was over. I just value my friends so much. And I noticed that for the past week I minimally name names to anyone… except my professors though. Hehe

I got the results on my pre finals on Pharma – I did well… just a little more push and I hope I’ll make it.

I also got my Physical Diagnosis exam result – I nailed it. Hehehe! Wooohooo!

For the last couple of days (Wednesday and Thursday) I slept around 8:30pm and woke up around 11:30pm, I haven’t slept right after that… we had double shifting/unit exams during lunch breaks the following day. Meaning 2 exams and around 6 topics were given to us and no lunch. On Thursday lunch break we had Lab diagnosis and on Friday lunch break we had Pharmacology. I hope sleeplessness will help me pass those exams.

I guess I’m more inspired to study now. Cath just keeps me going and going and going and going. Hehe

Despite our busy schedules we ate dinner together, maybe later we’ll attend mass. I forgot to tell you she’s a lector during mass every Saturday. That makes me want to try choir. Hehehe! The buzz about us in school is a bit annoying. Some unknown people will come to you and ask. But that’s ok… that’s the price of being a celebrity. Lol!

Monday, I Went Solo…

Laugh now clowns, laugh! Now I’m mortified as you read this entry.

Can you hate school more or what? Can you hate your professors or what? Can you hate research or what?

Yeah! Yeah! Our date was cancelled… =[

She has a research presentation tomorrow. She was suddenly chosen by her class to present. You know how research can eat your time, right? She was nice when she said she can’t come. She said we will have "MORE" time after that… =]

I have to admit I was disappointed but it sooner fades.

To be honest we were together for four nights straight. We always ate dinner together, taught her some tricks on excel for her assignment, do her report presentation, reviewed together, we went to mass last Saturday. What more can I ask? Just because my plan didn’t end as I wanted I should feel mad?

I still went to Trinoma though... had my haircut and dine alone…

In fact it gave me a lot of time to think, you see, if you were keen to observe the people in a mall, you will notice different types of folks behind all those posh boutiques and classy bistro. There were group of highschool friends enjoying some ice cream (i miss my high school friends. you all nknow how easy life was then!), buddies looking at a new pair of gola (i miss my best buddy), grandparents strolling and enjoying the night (i miss my lolo and lola=[) and a family of three enjoys dinner (i really really miss my family!!!). nagpakaEmo na naman ako magisa! Hehehe

Oh and I saw my weird Professor in Surgery! hahaha

(last lecture he called 3 of us in our class for recitation, then he called the same persons when he asked another question! hehehe)

I even made a new friend… my stylist. Astig magupit. I gave a very suitable tip tuloy! Hehe

That time Cath texted me and I told her where I was. She said she's sorry and I should go back here early and be careful =]

I decided I have to go back in my dorm as soon as possible. I bought an ice cream near here… then we shared it. It made me appreciate the simpler things that we share. And she’s right, there’s more time for us soon. We chose this profession and have to be on-call most of the time, and for now we just have to enjoy what we have. Lastly, I also realized sometimes things won’t work no matter how flawless your plan is.

Monday Lovin'

I know, Love month is over by Saturday but can you stop a guy who’s so much into it? hehehe

Honestly, I can’t wait for Monday… Cath and I will go out, dine then watch a flick! Yey! Do you have any suggestions where to eat in Trinoma? Not that intimate but cozy and homey, you know where we can eat and relax. Maybe you can drop by and say hello or even join us! lol. My treat!

I’m really looking forward to that date cause it’s gonna be a long weekend for us. On Saturday is our prefinal exam on Pharmacology! Kill me now cause I’m effin nervous! I badly need to pass that exam so Pharmacology will be out of my list. You all know my HISTORY with that subject. So I’ll take some time off and be back on Tuesday next week.

School work is much easier for me now; I guess I’m doing great. Balancing time for school and recreation! (diba mga kaConference sa YM?) lol. Last week I had 30 second applause from my classmates from my journal presentation, after answering simultaneous questions from one of my hated professor. It felt more like as a Vindication from last semester when that professor wipes my ass on the floor. She really murdered me as far as I can remember; we had that argument in front of the class. Well, I guess I nailed that recent report. Few things learned: relax, do not argue and enjoy. Oh, and cram your presentation and do not put slides that you cannot explain! Hehe

My shifting exams and major exams are ok so far. So I guess going out on Monday is a reward for all of my efforts in school plus a loving bonus from that special someone! Cheers!

Pillow Talk

You were here last night…

We talked about your exam in Radiology… I told you don’t worry, for sure you did well.

You lay on my bed…

You complained of the workload you will have today… CPC, 3 shifting exams, I told you it will be just for this day.

I joked when you mistakenly opened my night lamp when it’s not yet plugged… you laughed very hard

I told you, you must take a rest before you start studying again, cause it will be a long night for us.

And then you fell silent…














You were napping on my bed… I never appreciated more how calm you look.

You have a little smile on your face and that made me smile as well.

I then took a picture of you… So that I will not forget how you look and that an angel fell here last night.

I stopped from what I’m doing… I looked after you...





45 minutes later… you’re awake, you said sorry and asked how long you slept.

I told you how long and must change now from your uniform.

You said goodnight, I said that as well. You turned red again.





When I decided to take a sleep around 2am, I unconsciously laid where you rested your head.

I imagined your hair on it, I smiled… and that’s the last thing I remember, before I fell asleep.



Cath... i can wait...

=)

Here it comes again… Valentines…. Hay…

For sure everything related to this celebration will be expensive… flowers… chocolates… bear…

Even the rate of rooms for rent that night will be a bit expensive. Lol

To be honest it’s the only celebration that I do not celebrate… maybe my past GFs prefers to differ. Hehe. I just gave them a rose or a card or a note… nothing more… (Maybe that’s why it didn’t last). Or maybe I’m so bitter in my mishaps on relationship that I do not believe in Valentines anymore.

But this year… I’m planning to surprise someone.

You see, Cath and I are neighbors here in the dormitory. In fact, my room is in front of hers. We are great friends and we hang-out together when we review. We usually stroll and go to Starbucks around 11pm, buy our coffee jelly before we resume to our review. We talk about so many things and we really connected. She laughs at my jokes, she saw me on my lowest, she took care of me when I was sick, she listens when I talk and been really supportive of me. She’s very sweet and funny as well. Athletic and very open minded. She never had a boyfriend. My parents know a lot about her and I’m guessing so is hers. I also usually cook for her, last Sunday I prepare pancakes, bacon and egg. We ate breakfast at around 7:30am and it lasted up to 10:30. I just really really enjoy her company.

Yesterday after exams, she was in an eatery with some close friends and saw me passing by with a girl who happens to be our neighbor too. I saw her and she turned red but smiling. She SMS me and asked me where was I going. I told her I went out with some of my “tropa” and dine out (which is true! Promise!). She told me, she thought I was going out with the girl she saw with me earlier.

So now, I was planning o surprise Cath for tomorrow.

1.On Thursday morning, I will post a 1 long stem white rose on her door
2.On lunch time, I will ask a common friend to give a note
3.That same night, I will cook dinner for her and we will eat in the rooftop of our dorm

I know it’s cheesy but it’s sincere. And if being cheesy is what I need to do to take me to the next level. I will do that for her.

Happy Valentines to you all! =]

I hope next year will be a really really HAPPY one for me.