Will you call it rebirth?

Most of the time when you are doing something you really like it seems like you are doing your elementary project in science that you are so excited and so eager to present it to everyone. When you have this new project, you’ll be all out for it and be very optimistic that it will have a good result.

Writing excites me.

I hope people will not ask why I left blogging for a while. I knew from the moment that I decided to do so that it’s gonna be for a short time. I never intended to make a stir nor make it as a fuss. It was a personal thing and doesn’t need any elaborations. Neither of my real friends nor blogging friends knew the exact reason why I left, and I hope all of you will understand.

Most of the time I was gone was spent on studying for my finals (seriously, I was). And some were spent with my friends here. I enjoyed talking and going out with them. That’s what I exactly needed... that I have a social life outside, outside the four corners of my room that I’ve been trying to use as a shield to everyone. Sadly those few moments might end soon.

My relatives pressures me. A fact that my parents never recognize.

And to add that, I pressure myself so much of thoughts that I shouldn’t even dare to think.

2 more exams and after that judgment comes for me…

5 more days…

I have to prove THEM something…

I have to prove to myself I still can...

A Wet and Wild Sunday

I was supposed to finish my enrollment today. Sadly I didn’t make it. I have a diarrhea attack. I was wondering what I ate and I remembered I haven’t eaten anything aside from a banana and skyflakes. I’m not even thinking of having amoebiasis since my feces is not nearing the appearance of the actual infected feces: mucoid and has a very particular odor. I was thinking of mild bacterial infection so I just let it pass and didn’t took any meds but I was pretty worried when last night I wasn’t even well yet. I was pretty tired and very weak then. I self medicate, Gatorade and ORS, it was helping but I haven’t drunk any meds to stop the emission. Hehehe.

Well, it all started earlier that day when I was about to come to a cousin’s birthday party. You all know my history with my mom’s side of family. Just as a refresher, obviously we are not in good terms. Well my brother is, but definitely whose side will you take? (How immature of us???)On the other hand I really wanted to come just to see my Lola but I realized I’ll be sleeping in my Lola’s house for the weekend. I haven’t diagnosed myself with LBM that time yet, but I visited the “throne” for like 3 times earlier that day. You see LBM is not really more of consistency which is watery but more of the frequency. Most Filipinos misnomer that. Anyhow, when my mom asked me if I wanted to come to the party, I said I couldn’t and I am not feeling well. Immediately after I said that, I had stomach pains. I visited the comfort room on and off. And when I was lying on my bed, my mom knocked on my room and we sort of, kinda have a fight.

She asked me what’s my problem, why I wouldn’t want to come, that I’ll do that for my Lola, that I can just “mano” then take off soon. Blah blah blah blah blah…

My attention to her that time was minimal cause I’m too tired and weak just listening to her. Actually, I was a little bit angry to my mom. Forgive me for saying this but I know this is wrong. When she was sick, we can never leave her side and we were so worried. Last week my dad went through the same situation like me. And where was she? And she now tries to decide if I will come or not? I was pretty sick and not acting this up. I was furious.

I know my mom is not that perfect, she’s the best for me though. But sometimes you can never ignore these simple things, which some parents try to dictate what you will do. I also know that I’m in no position to oppose her since I’m still studying and she’s the one paying for my education. But I am sick, isn’t that an enough reason?

Moral lesson: do not wish you’ll get sick just to make an excuse for making an appearance!

As of this afternoon, I’m ok. See I can cure myself=]