In a Bad Case

I promised I would post something yesterday night but I had a fever and my throat is so painful. I can’t even get out of bed because my body’s aching too. Hay, I just wish I was at home. Things could have been easier. Masarap din naman kasi ang binibeybi! Hehehe. Good thing I have Tere and Kuya Mak as company.

Anyway, I think I’m ok now; I had my oatmeal for breakfast.

So what was my idea for a post last night? Hmmm…

Were there times that you just wished you heard a bad news and someone else would tell it to you instead of you hearing them first handedly? Maybe it’s a matter of guts that you have to face whatever you must have to face and accept. But there are times you wished a friend or a family was there at the same time they can comfort you.

When I was a freshman here my professor told me that you have to consider the gravity of the situation in case you have to deliver a bad news to an individual. If the situation will affect the family members and/or the community, it is the right for the family members to know. In that way they can help in the treatment process for the patient. Also you have to consider the age of the patient and their state of mind.

But in real life situation, you always have to be prepared and ready.

After The Holidays

My Hong Kong trip last 27 was exchange to a tour to room 106. A good hotel service provided by my brother as a gift was switched to a room with 2 beds, a ref, and fruit baskets. My money I saved for shopping was now visible with syringe punctures and spent on IV fluids, antibiotics and mucolytics. I was about to meet some friends and some bloggers but I ended meeting Nancy, my nurse.

Oh my! I was sick for the last 3 days!

Cough, phlegm, chills and fever were a pattern. I thought I can cure myself but it ended asking my mom to let me be confined to a near Hospital. Since it was after the holidays, and my Godfather’s hospital was the nearest, I didn’t want it to look like I was asking for a gift or something so I asked them to take me somewhere else. I never felt bad; my body’s aching so much. I joked to a friend that every year I have to visit a hospital and stay for at least 2 days. It’s a MUST for me, I think.

For those of us who tries to live on our own or was used to taking care of ourselves, the most difficult thing we can experience is getting sick. So the moment I started feeling sick, I told my mom I can handle it. I can get an ice pack, I can get my own water, and I can prepare my tea. But, I’m not ashamed of this, I longed for my parents to take care of me. I even longed for my siblings to do something for me. Not on an abusive way, but when my body ached, I told them I can’t do things anymore. I needed them.

I’m currently at home right now and resting.

First, I’m thankful for another year that will soon end. It maybe not my luckiest and not my worst but I enjoyed it.

Secondly I’m sorry for my shortcomings and if I given my word but wasn’t able to accomplish it.

I wish everyone a Happy New Year!

Let’s toast for a new start.

Let’s toast for shitty 08 will soon end.

Let’s toast for our families and friends!

A Wet and Wild Sunday

I was supposed to finish my enrollment today. Sadly I didn’t make it. I have a diarrhea attack. I was wondering what I ate and I remembered I haven’t eaten anything aside from a banana and skyflakes. I’m not even thinking of having amoebiasis since my feces is not nearing the appearance of the actual infected feces: mucoid and has a very particular odor. I was thinking of mild bacterial infection so I just let it pass and didn’t took any meds but I was pretty worried when last night I wasn’t even well yet. I was pretty tired and very weak then. I self medicate, Gatorade and ORS, it was helping but I haven’t drunk any meds to stop the emission. Hehehe.

Well, it all started earlier that day when I was about to come to a cousin’s birthday party. You all know my history with my mom’s side of family. Just as a refresher, obviously we are not in good terms. Well my brother is, but definitely whose side will you take? (How immature of us???)On the other hand I really wanted to come just to see my Lola but I realized I’ll be sleeping in my Lola’s house for the weekend. I haven’t diagnosed myself with LBM that time yet, but I visited the “throne” for like 3 times earlier that day. You see LBM is not really more of consistency which is watery but more of the frequency. Most Filipinos misnomer that. Anyhow, when my mom asked me if I wanted to come to the party, I said I couldn’t and I am not feeling well. Immediately after I said that, I had stomach pains. I visited the comfort room on and off. And when I was lying on my bed, my mom knocked on my room and we sort of, kinda have a fight.

She asked me what’s my problem, why I wouldn’t want to come, that I’ll do that for my Lola, that I can just “mano” then take off soon. Blah blah blah blah blah…

My attention to her that time was minimal cause I’m too tired and weak just listening to her. Actually, I was a little bit angry to my mom. Forgive me for saying this but I know this is wrong. When she was sick, we can never leave her side and we were so worried. Last week my dad went through the same situation like me. And where was she? And she now tries to decide if I will come or not? I was pretty sick and not acting this up. I was furious.

I know my mom is not that perfect, she’s the best for me though. But sometimes you can never ignore these simple things, which some parents try to dictate what you will do. I also know that I’m in no position to oppose her since I’m still studying and she’s the one paying for my education. But I am sick, isn’t that an enough reason?

Moral lesson: do not wish you’ll get sick just to make an excuse for making an appearance!

As of this afternoon, I’m ok. See I can cure myself=]

Mix Emotions

I really can’t identify what I really feel right now. Sad, angry, sick/scared, happy and excited …

Let me tell you why...

Since yesterday I’m just sad. I’ve been wearing this plastic smile around campus up to my dorm. Some of my friends, the ones I’m with since first year are planning to transfer or in verge of leaving med school. One has to go as a consequence of his status in med school. This person who’s been a brother to me, whom I look up to and respect each other. His family is well-off but he chooses to live simply. He’s here for his family and his future. I just can’t believe that he’s not given a chance. I saw this person’s efforts to pass; I know he gave everything in terms of studying and staying up late just to study. He hasn’t told me what his plans are. And two other close friends are in the same situation where I was last semester. I just don’t know how to give them the right advice, they’re planning to transfer. As much as I want, I don’t want them to go… They were great companies; they are the ones who I want to be with when we receive that diploma and soon call ourselves physicians.

I’m angry cause I blame the recent scandal that happened here… The leakage… because of that, most of us have to suffer from it. I’m angry for the not so fair treatment they give to different batch, how they favor the ones who have control. I’m angry that we did everything, almost everything and it seems that it’s not enough. It felt like it was never enough. It makes me wanna give up…

Sick and scared literally. I have hyperacidity attacks and they occur often now. Kind of my fault, I enjoy so much iced tea, frapps and coffee based drinks and it’s summer. Last time I had a hyperacidic attack I salivate so much and I wanted to vomit. Scared that last time I was hospitalized I refused to have an endoscopy… I hope this is nothing… I hope everything will be well…

Despite of it all, I’m a little happy, because after 5 exhausting months and very much wearing exams, I’m coming and staying home for long. Happy that I will see parents, my bro’s and my dogs; happy that I have 2 precious months as a vacation… happy that I can rest and compensate the hours of sleep that I’m lacking. I’m happy that I have so many plans to do during this vacation; I hope I can accomplish them all. hehe

Excited that Cath’s birthday is fast approaching. (17 days to be exact!) One of the reasons why I make this post is to ask you guys what kind of surprise or gift that I will give. I have a plan already but I really need your great ideas. I’m sure you have lots of it. Please please please!!! I just want it to be simple, something sweet and between the two of us and something that she will never forget and will really like. Advance thank you all.=]