Rewind, Play, then Stop

Written last February 17, 2011

9:51:20 PM

I stared to the mirror for the longest time and looked at my own reflection.

I asked myself of who I’ve become...

I asked myself what I’ve become...

We adapt ourselves with all of these. Accustom to things that we weren’t used to do. Planned things that will be good for you and your special someone…

You have a different perspective… A different attitude.

You were completely changed from what you used to believe, because as you move forward with one hand with that person, you have this beautiful and perfect mindset.

It made me think, who was I before this?

What I’ve been doing then?

And I try to comprehend; will we be able to go back to what we used to be?

What i used to be...

Or will we be able to move forward equipped with new perspective?

Or move forward to a new me...

I can’t even recall what I really want before.

I can’t even recall what my plans with my life before.

I can’t even recall what my life could have been if I didn’t met you.

But…

I can recall that I didn’t have any directions then.

I can recall the things that I did and they made me realize how important having you now and to treasure the time we’re together.

I can recall just wishing to be somewhere else and how much time I wasted before we met.

All of these were changed because of you, as they say relationships makes the best out of us. We take a leap for what is best for us. You, changed me to be the best that i can.

I stared to the mirror for the longest time and my reflection told me that…

I’m still learning a lot.

And there are no regrets, I tell you. So don’t worry about me... Don't ever worry about me.

But let me worry about you. Let me worry when your alone and lonely. Let me worry when you're feeling sick, Let me worry when you're doubtful. Let me look after you when you're asleep.

'Twas an everyday risk.

But...

There are no regrets, Just Love.

March 17, 2011

12:00AM

26...

is est terminus quest.

ego mos diligo vos pro totus of meus vita.

satus per diligo, terminus per diligo

Rewind, Slow Motion then Pause

Every night I press rewind and play things in slow motion…

The day we met,

The way you look at me and me to you,

The way you smile and laugh,

The way you talk.

The first hug, the first kiss.

Pause...

Every night I press rewind and play things in slow motion….

Your head on my chest,

The scent of your hair,

The scent of your perfume,

Me kissing your forehead saying I love you and thank you,

Our hands intertwined together.

Pause...

Every night I press rewind and play things in slow motion….

Watching you asleep,

Thanking Him for bringing you here.

Putting my left ear where your heart is, listening as it beats.

Our little off-guard moments, just us, smiling and silently staring at each other.

Pause...

Every night I press rewind and play things in slow motion…

The time I held you so tight under the warm dim light,

Your head on my shoulder, my head leaning yours.

Bennett’s on the background singing:

“With each word your tenderness grows,
tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
it touches my foolish heart.”

I closed my eyes and silently prayed, please don't let this end.

Pause...

Every night I press rewind and play things in slow motion…

In my mind and in my heart, these things will never be erased or forgotten

And I want to tell you, how I badly want to press fast forward.

And see you and me together again in the near future.

You and Me, Just Us Two.

Rewind then Fast Forward

I was looking through our pictures awhile ago. Me and my high school friends, you see, went out last weekend. I need a time off from med books and decided to meet them after eons (just kidding, maybe yeah, a year or half, sorry ako ng busy).

“We grew up so fast” I told myself and smiled as I browsed our pictures. And then it got me thinking about relationships, our relationships… our unconventional relationships. We may not be like our batch mates; getting married, settling down, and having kids.

When we were in high school, I remember someone told me “all the good ones are taken, so hurry”. Pathetic as it may sound, admit it, having a relationship in high school, aside from having those academic achievements was essential. Maybe it’s part of fitting in or having an identity? (sorry that’s what I view life then, so don’t judge me)

But now that we’ve matured a little, we have different takes; it’s not just having relationships. It’s not just satisfying what you need, to love and be loved, cause there are different types of relationships. Unlike our batch mates having those traditional relationships, me and my friends still believe in fairytales, the unwritten type of ones though, like a princess falling in love with another princess, a prince to another, a princess torn between two prince, a prince who’s still enjoying his single life and will have a relationship when the right one comes, a princess marrying a rockstar, a princess living far away from his prince, a prince loving an eccentric princess and a prince who’s new to a new kingdom, is still learning but can finally say have a direction because of someone.

I bet to one of my friends last weekend, who among us will get married soon. And we laughed.

We have different takes, but as long as we believe into something (and that is love no matter how odd it is) and most importantly is to be happy.

image from here

When the Prince Met His Match

As one of the members of the high aristocracy, he’s though well about histories and on a young age he’s though how to run a country, how to act accordingly and behave in front of his monarchial court. Before a prince must be well thought on how to battle using swords, he needs to learn who his allies and enemies are. Most of them who's living in his kingdom have high expectations on him, especially his family.

Even in fairy tales, a prince may either save a princess from dragons; he must kiss one in order to wake his true love from deep slumber, he can be possessed by the sea witch, become a beast, or even fight hundreds of wars just to claim and win his princess’s heart.

Now, some of these things are unnecessary, a prince can live his life normally, except the fact that there are still people with some high expectations for him to do well, for him to be great, for him to soon meet his special someone.

Soon, this prince will prepare and attend a masked ball, he will mingle with his court, enjoy the lavish food prepared by the palace chefs, and he will dance with every girl that will attend the festivity. But at the end of that night the prince’s sight will be fixed to this attendee, it seems like his world will slow down, like in those movies. And he will stop for awhile, held his hand on his chest and will mutter to himself “I finally met my match”.

abangan...

An Unsent Love Letter

WARNING: this is the cheesiest thing I’ll post in my blog. But what the hell, you can leave now if you want to.

I have this as a draft for a very long time. Someday, I’ll give this letter to someone.

Before, great men write love letters when they’re separated with their loved ones. For example is war as well as hundreds and hundreds of miles. Like with soldiers and when they come to a combat, before snail mails, phone calls and before the advent of skype and webcam, all you need is a pen and paper and spill out what you feel for that special someone and tell them that you miss them and that your only wish is to be with them. For a change, I wrote this letter not for someone I left neither for a battle nor me being far away. Won’t you agree that when you’re deeply in love, you’re capable of doing crazy things?

So here’s my take…

I’m not great with words…

And I’m doing this to show you how much I care.

I know that action speaks louder than words. But just in case, I’ll lose my confidence again and haven’t mustered and tell you exactly what I really feel, I want you to read this.

I remember the first time I heard your voice; I sensed a hint of sadness. So I tried as much as possible to make you smile and comfort you. I guess that day I was successful doing so. You had a lot of questions then, some are about me and I tried my best to answer all of them with sincerity. Days had passed and I like how you share little by little your stories, from the funny ones to some of your secrets. I guess day by day I won your trust.

I love the way you laugh at my jokes.

I love the way you sing for me.

I love watching you falling asleep.

I love the sound you make when you sip your soup.

I love how appreciative you are even with the smallest little thing.

I love the way you trust my opinions and judgment.

I love that we have a lot of things in common, and most of the time we’re thinking of exactly the same thing.

I love that when I was shaken to the core, you called and told me everything’s gonna be okay.

I love that despite my low self esteem, you’re always there boosting it up.

I love the way you cheer me up.

I love the way how you believe in me and that I can do great things.

I love that you gave me a sense of direction, that now at least I have a concrete plan with my life.

I love the way you say I love you too.

I’ll never be ashamed to tell this to the whole world that with you, everyday I’m in love. And everyday, my love intensifies and is incomparable to the day prior.

I don’t want to make any promises to you. All I want for us is to enjoy what we have now and hopefully we can make it last. I trust us.

Also, I hope someday we can travel the world. I know that’s one of the things we want to do. We’ll go to Ireland and Scotland and lay on the greeneries enjoying the sun. We’ll ride the Gondola in tour Venice together. Watch the grand prix in Monaco, teach you how to swim and enjoy the sunset in Santorini. And eat in different Boulangerie or Pâtisserie in Paris.

There’s a lot of things going through my mind and I want to tell you everything trough this letter. But it’s best that at least you know now what I really feel. The next time you’ll visit my blog again, I hope you’ll reread this letter and remind you of what I really really feel. I love you.

Unfailing Love - Jimmy Needham

X’s – I was supposed to record this, maybe when that person comes. I’ll read or record this. :D

Knife... Part Une

This is your typical love story, a guy met a girl, guy courts the girl, and girl likes the guy. But between these two souls, their story is not so conventional.

Patrick met Eloise in a café, on her way on the line for her afternoon coffee fix; in her mind she can almost smell the scent of roasted coffee bean which always lightens her spirits. Patrick bumped into Eloise’s because he’s in a hurry to take his late lunch after he scrubbed in a major operation.

“Sorry!” Eloise said in a sarcastic tone.

“Oh, I’m so sorry too! I thought you need to be awaken cause you looked like you’re in a mild trance.” Patrick said. Then he smirked.

“How rude! Thank God not all guys are like you, I bet you’re still single!” Eloise replied.

Patrick wondered how she knew he’s still single. Then he looked at his ring finger. Then he said… “Sorry”

There were few people in that café that afternoon. 3 students seem to be cramming probably for their exam the following day. There’s a couple sitting next to each other canoodling at the corner of the café, Patrick noticed how the girl giggles while the guy whispers something on her ear. He also observes a group of old men chatting about the news earlier that day. Patrick always does this, maybe as a physician he’s trained in observing people, their mannerisms, he sometimes guesses the age and thinking if these people has a medical complain. Then lastly he noticed the lady in a green dress, the lady he bumped into a little earlier, the lady that he failed to notice of how pretty she is.

“Bummer…” Patrick whispered to himself.

He watched her how she sips her coffee. How she stares outside the window, faint sunlight hitting her pretty face. He noticed how the lady smiled when the kids passed by outside the café.

For awhile Patrick lost track of time. He needs to go back to the hospital. He takes his coffee with him, and hurriedly went out of the café. For the last time he looked at the lady. Then he smiled.

...................

“Patient Number 73” the lady in the intercom said.

The patient with the number went to the front desk, and she was directed to proceed to the 2^nd door on her right. Written on the wall beside that door was.

Patrick G. Cruz MD, FPCS

The patient gently knocked on the door. And as she got inside, she almost screamed… “YOU!?!”

.....................

X's - trying my take on a fictional story. hope i can finish this. hehe :P